he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize