I just made out with a guy for $7.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
