your thong is hanging out like whoa
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
