Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
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