so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
and she was petting her beer can
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
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I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
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Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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