Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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