I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
