Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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