Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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