wakey wakey hands off snakey
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
