My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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