I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
