Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
