i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
