please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
