Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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