We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
