I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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