im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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