They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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