cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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