My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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