I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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