She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
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Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
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I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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