Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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