i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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