i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
