I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
