Michael Bay diarrhea
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
