hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
