and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
