i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
