After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
