Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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