I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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