What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize