Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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