gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
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After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
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She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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