what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
