she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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