In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
