dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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