he shaved USA in his pubs
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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