my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
