So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
