considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Mom said you looked used
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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