Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
