You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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