i don't like sucking hair
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I cannot find my penis.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
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