If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
How's work?
Spinning.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Randomize
