Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
