Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
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That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
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You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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