My boss' voice literally gives me gas
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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