birth control should be required to get into college
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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