her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
