WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
